Hi my loves! I apologize for my lack of consistency with my posts and I will do better. “Know better do better right?” (for my Ins...

Hi my loves! I apologize for my lack of consistency with my posts and I will do better. “Know better do better right?” (for my Insecure fans). I’ve been asked multiple times for this co-parenting update and before I even eat my oatmeal and start my day (at 10 am, don’t judge) I want to make sure I post this. So pretty much every week Roman and I split the week in half, I have G 4 days and 3 nights, he has her 3 days and 4 nights. Pick ups and drop offs can be annoying because we don’t stick to a schedule, it pretty much revolves around him. Although irritating, I am glad that he makes time and prioritizes being in her life and being present. I also really appreciate the time that I get to myself when he has her. Here are a few questions that I’ve been DM’d about co-parenting and moving on after splitting up…

How do you balance being a young mom, running your business, and still enjoying yourself?
I’m blessed to have amazing friends who love G, hanging out with her,and helping me out when I’m ever in need. And again, the time Roman takes her during the week really helps me and I try to make the best out of it by running the errands that are hard to run with G, working out, going out, or treating myself to happy hour just because. I used to drown myself in work so that I could just enjoy G without working when I have her but I realized that all I was doing was working and mom-ing and not take or making time for me, I had to learn how to balance it all and we’re all different, you have to figure out how to balance it yourself. But most of all you HAVE to make time for YOU, if not you’ll go crazy. When I became a mother I thought that it would be my only life and the only thing that I could do GIRL BYE. That’s called mom guilt…”Guilt a mother feels anytime she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her child(ren).” - Urban Dictionary. It’s natural but you have to get over it and take care of yourself, stop making excuses as to why you can’t do something for yourself and just do it!

What’s the hardest thing about co-parenting?
Whew chiiiiiiiile the communication *nervous sweats*. I’ve come to the conclusion that 90% of men on earth just can not communicate well. Roman and I are both self employed but being that he provides a service, he can’t always dictate his schedule, sometimes he runs late, his clients run late, his employees run late. But all I ask for are simple time frames of pick ups and drop offs and communication if it’s looking like you’ll be late or earlier than planned. It’s like when you tell your friend to let you know when she’s on the way and she texts you saying “I”m outside” with no warning that she was ever on the way…bish whet??? Lol. But honestly that’s my biggest hurdle with him and compared to a lot of stories that I’ve been emailed and DM’d , it could be way worse, so I’ll take it *rolls eyes*

Was the transition into co-parenting hard?
Initially it was mainly because of the way it ended. I won’t go all the way into that, maybe one day I will, but it ended bad and I was put in a very uncomfortable situation that I had to pull myself out of alone. From there typical end of relationship selfishness and pettiness took part on both ends and eventually we made an agreement. I didn’t want to go through the court system but if I needed to I would have. Saying all this to say, it gets better! I don’t feel like it will ever be easy but it will get better no matter what your situation is whether co-parenting or single parenting.

How do you deal with him moving on? Have you moved on?
I’m the type that once I’m done with something/someone I walk away and never look back no matter what’s going on back there. It’s not the I still let my baby daddy spend the night from time to time or any of that, I feel like if we did that it would confuse us and Grae. We both also had the mutual agreement not to have anyone that we are dating around her unless it is serious  and in that event we would also introduce them to one  another. I’m a jealous, territorial Scorpio so I’m sure I might feel a way if and when that day comes but it’s one of those situations that we all go through and you have to check yourself like “Hey girl you good? I remember why it ended? Exactly, fix your face and your attitude, WE GOOD”. 

Being that dating in LA is trash I haven’t found anyone worth any type of time yet but I’m also not looking. This is not a city to look for love or relationships, it’s a city to work hard and follow your dreams and let love find you. 


I hope I answered all or most of your questions, all up in my bid-ness lol, kidding. I think it’s important to talk about these things because families don’t always work out the way that we imagined them to and these conversations should be normalized. I also recently started listening to the Good Moms Bad Choices Podcast and I love it, check it out here

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